Family Funnies


Our family has been telling each other jokes for years. Dinner time last night was spent practicing our humour on one another. I thought I’d share a few of our favourites and see if you can add any good ones to the mix.

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs, floating in the water?
Bob.

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Banana.
Banana who?
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Banana.
Banana who?
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Banana.
Banana who?
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you glad I didn’t say banana again?

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs, laying at the front door?
Matt.

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Ya.
Ya who?

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs, hanging on the wall?
Art.

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Interrupting cow.
Interrupting cow wh…
MOO!

Of course, I always love the classics that the little kids come up with when they’re first learning how to joke. Here’s Kai’s new funny:

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Elephant.
Elephant who?
Heavy elephant.
(This one is faithfully followed by gales of laughter from the rest of the family.)

As you can see, we’ve got a few standard jokes kicking around. Do you have any favourite family-approved jokes we can borrow?

* This post has been linked up to Tiny Talk Tuesday at Not Before 7.

Filed Under: carnivals, family fun, just because, kids, Malakai, Tiny Talk June 22, 2010 By 3 Comments



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Family Funnies

Our family had a fantastic long weekend in the mountains! We drove, we hiked, we toured a town of days gone by, we hot tubbed, we rode a train, we visited the world’s largest cuckoo clock, we toured a mine, we swam, we ate too much and slept too little. (At this juncture, I would like to post some pictures of our family fun. Unfortunately, my computer’s card reader is not in the mood to read my camera’s memory card and the USB cord for my camera is playing hide-n-seek. You’ll have to settle for a cute little story instead.)

Shea: Dad! Look at that mountain! It’s so big! The trees are higher than the sky!

Abbey: Sometimes, when the trees are waving in the wind, it kinda looks like they are worshipping God.

Mom: I bet they are! It says in the Bible that even the rocks cry out to worship the Lord.

Megan: Mom, what about the rocks that aren’t Christians?

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Malakai, at age 2 1/2, is really becoming a talker! Here are our two favourite sayings of his:

Shake a booty! (said in a sing-songy way while bopping his head up and down)

I nu no. (I don’t know. His standard reply to any question beginning in “Where is….”)

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This post is linked up to Tiny Talk Tuesday.

Filed Under: Abbey, family fun, Malakai, Megan, Shea, Tiny Talk May 25, 2010 By 2 Comments



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Tiny Talk Tuesday – 04/27/10

One of my lovely children to me:

Mom, you have a HUGE zit on your cheek!

Gee, I didn’t notice. Thanks for pointing that out!

Filed Under: just because, kids, Tiny Talk April 27, 2010 By 1 Comment



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Tiny Talk Tuesday

Megan is an eighty-year-old woman in a six-year-old’s body. I know this, because only old women talk like she does.

Last night, as we drove home, she opened her window. It was +12C – unseasonably warm for January in Alberta. Enjoying the warm breeze on her face, Megan leaned her head back and sighed.

“Mom,” she said, “This warm weather is so fabulous! Tomorrow, after school, we should all go for a nice walk. Wouldn’t that be lovely?”

Sure, Grandma, that would be just lovely. ;)

Filed Under: kids, Megan, Tiny Talk January 12, 2010 By 4 Comments



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Tiny Talk Tuesday


Mary likes to encourage us to record those cute things our kids say. If you want to see what other kids are saying, go to Not Before 7 and visit the links.

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Megan (5) is a bit of a drama queen. She often picks up little sayings she’s heard on movies, or from who knows where.

Lately, when speaking to someone and wanting their full attention, she will walk up, hold their face in her hands, and say “my darling, listen to me.”

Her newest exclamation is, “oh my goodness to glory!”

No idea where she comes up with this stuff!

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We have two wonderful childcare providers, who are both adult women. One of them is expecting – twins! The kids have all been quite thrilled to discover this.

Abbey (6) was informing us that C is “getting two babies.” So Pat asked, “where’s she getting them from?” (Smart alec.)

Abbey says, “in her tummy,” with a ‘duh, you should know this’ tone in her voice.

Shea (3) pipes in, “No, I think it’s from her mouth.”

Killing. Me. With. Laughter.

Filed Under: Abbey, carnivals, kids, Megan, Shea, Tiny Talk January 13, 2009 By 5 Comments



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Tiny Talk Tuesday

Shea had her first day of playschool this week. Meg, Kai and I dropped her off and headed back home. Meg (5) asked me if it would be just her and Kai at home for the morning.

Thinking the prospect of some ‘Mommy time’ would be pleasing to her, I respond “Yes! And we’ll put Kai down for a nap, so it will be just you and Mom!”

Meg’s response was an unenthused, “Oh, that will be sooooooo booooooring.”

One of the signs you were born into a large family.
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Abbey (6) has started grade 1 this year. Last year, with full-day Kindergarten two days per week (and a third day on alternate weeks), she was a very tired and emotional girl until mid-October. So I haven’t been expecting anything different this year…

The other morning she was quite certain that she needed to stay home from school because she was sick. I shared my theory that she was simply tired and needed to go to bed a bit earlier until she got used to being in school full time. But she insited – she was really sick!

Long story short, after some rest, some debate about television (and how it’s not allowed if you’re sick, because you should be resting), and some Q & A… “Mom, why can’t you just let me sleep in bed longer in the mornings?!” Which brought us back to the whole tired and needing to go to bed earlier conversation. Resulting in a tearful and heartfelt, “BUT I’M NOT TIRED!!!!”

Sure kid, whatever you say.
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We had guests for dinner this weekend (which was really fun, by the way). The girls nibbled from their plates and asked to be excused from the table. Braeden (10) ate 3 generous helpings as quickly as humanly possible. But he decided to stay at the table with the grown-ups.

Our guests asked him a few questions about school and racing… Twenty minutes later, after none of us were able to get a word in edgewise, Pat and I were giggling about the tougher aspects of a large family – some kids obviously don’t get to talk (and listened to) nearly enough.
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Shea (3), telling me about how much fun her first day of playschool was. “And we did a painting, and I played with babies, and I like my teachers, and I rode a car, and I ate all my snack, and I made a friend.” Breath. I jumped in to ask her friend’s name. “Ummmm, I ‘get. But I played with blocks, and I did a puzzle, and I singed a song, and I….”
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For a couple months, Kai (almost 1) has been making certain sounds in certain situations that make me think he’s talking. But I don’t want to be one of those moms who acts like her kids is the most brilliant. I know, I know.

Anyway, I have now decided that he is DEFINITELY saying “hi.” Anytime anyone enters a room, he says “eye!”

Other things I suspect he is saying (though few of these words sound quite like the actual words)…

Braeden – Baaaaaa!
Daisy – Day
Dad – DA!
Mom – Mamama
Off (command we say to the dog, loudly and often) – Ah

And a two-word phrase that he’s been saying for a couple months – “eye DA!” Every day at about 5:15pm…

You know, he really is the most brilliant baby out there…

Click the picture for more Tiny Talk.

Filed Under: Abbey, Braeden, carnivals, kids, Malakai, Megan, Shea, Tiny Talk September 9, 2008 By 1 Comment



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Tiny Talk Tuesday

Thanks to Mary for hosting Tiny Talk Tuesday each week, without fail.

Driving in a vehicle with five kids for eight days gets you really listening to the things they say…

Megan (5) about the brand-new portable DVD player with 2 screens – “That is OFF THE HOOK!!!” Seriously, where do they come up with this stuff?!

Shea (3), broken-hearted that the girls in the row behind her wouldn’t play with her, “They not be my buddy.” Aw, I would’ve even felt bad for her had it not been for the wailing that followed.

Abbey (6) really bonded with one of her cousins, A. She may have a slight crush, as it seems she thinks he hung the moon. All we heard her say, for the whole three days driving home, “A says this…A says that.” If anyone disagreed (including parents), she would grow quite insistent. We finally just gave up. If A says it’s true, then it must be so… I also noticed this phenomenon with the Kindergarten teacher. When did everyone else become the expert and I became the ‘dumb mom?’

And my personal favourite…

Braeden (10) discussing driving. Braeden asks Dad if he can have a Mustang when he’s old enough to drive. A teasing debate ensues about whether Mustangs really are ‘just for girls’ as Dad insists, or the ‘coolest cars ever’ in Braeden’s humble opinion. When the goofiness settled down, Dad (referring to an old rusty Ford pick-up parked behind our garage) tells Braeden he can have his truck when he turns 16. Braeden responds with more excitement than we could have imagined, shrieking and ‘woohoo’ing and bouncing up and down. He says, “Dad, you rock! Can I have your job, too?!” About an hour later, once Pat and I had wiped the tears from our eyes and caught our breath, he explained to Braeden that he wasn’t referring to that truck (his work truck). Braeden’s disappointment was palpable, “Bummer, dude.”

Filed Under: Abbey, Braeden, carnivals, kids, Megan, Shea, Tiny Talk August 12, 2008 By 1 Comment



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Tiny Talk Tuesday

Yay! I finally have something to post for TTT.

Shea (3) has gymnastics class this week – their called “Jumping Beans,” isn’t that just the cutest?! After her class yesterday, Shea decided she was starving and simply would not survive all the way home. I scrounged and found $1.25 in change, so we wandered over to the vending machines.

She pondered the array of junk for two long, slow minutes before pointing to the “red chips” (those would be the Nacho Cheese flavoured Doritos). I start plunking coins in, and once I’ve deposited about $1.05, Shea shouts, “STOP, MOMMY!”

I jump (as do all the people within 10 feet of us) and whisper, “what is it, Sweetheart?” in hopes of convincing her to speak in like tones.

Still at the top of her lungs, she informs me of her change of heart. “MAMA, I WANT DICKLE-DICKLE PICKLE CHIPS!!!!!”

Oh. My. Goodness. I nearly died (or peed) – I haven’t laughed so hard in a long time. Apparently, neither had all those people within earshot.

For more Tiny Talk Tuesday, visit Not Before 7.

Filed Under: carnivals, kids, Shea, Tiny Talk July 15, 2008 By 2 Comments



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Tiny Talk Tuesday

Abbey (6, in Kindergarten) is apparently self-learning math. Because I assure you, I have nothing to do with any learning she has experienced!

She called Pat and I over to look at the notebook she was writing in. I was expecting to see a lovely picture of a butterfly or a girl. Abbey points down at the page and says, “ten take away five plus three is eight.” So I quickly think (10-5=5+3=8) – ohmygoodness! I laughed and asked her where she’s seen that before and she tells me, “I didn’t. I just KNOW.”

To prove her point, a few minutes later she tells me that “one-hundred take away one-hundred equals zero.” And when I exclaim that she’s right again she giggles and says, “I thought that was right. It makes sense.” Cute, smart, and humble – that’s my girl!

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Meg (5) was in the back yard gardening with Grandma. Grandma, not really expecting an answer, asks Meg where her dad keeps the spade. “Do you want the blue one or the green one?” asks Meg.

Surprised, Grandma asks Meg if she knows what a spade is. “No!” giggles Megan as she runs off across the yard. ‘I don’t know what the object is that you’re looking for, but I’m sure you can find it in any colour you wish…’

For more Tiny Talk, stop over and see Mary at Not Before 7.

Filed Under: Abbey, carnivals, kids, Megan, Tiny Talk May 26, 2008 By 7 Comments



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Tiny Talk Tuesday

Abbey (6) recently got ‘spring pictures’ taken at school. (What’s with that, anyway? They don’t gouge us enough in fall? Twice a year is better, I guess. I can’t believe that they send the pictures home whether you want them or not. Then you must either send them all back, in tact, or keep and pay for them. Lesson learned the hard way.) Anyway, back to the story… In the package of pictures, there was a cool sheet of stickers. The kids were all thrilled with these and everybody wanted one. Abbey proceeded to hand out the stickers, one by one. She approached each family member, patted the sticker onto their chest, and said, “Abbey fan.” Later, we found a sticker on the bathroom mirror and Abbey informed me, “Look, the bathroom’s an Abbey fan, too!” Kids.

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Megan (5) hopped in the van and scooped up a Magic Bag that was tucked under the seat (left there so I would hopefully remember to return it to the friend I borrowed it from). She draped it over her shoulders, leaned her head back, and said, “Ah. I need to relax!”

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Meg was full of funniness this week. One day she comes walking into the front door, kicks off her shoes, and exclaims, “My feet are killing me!”

For more Tiny Talk, check out Mary’s site.

Filed Under: Abbey, carnivals, kids, Megan, Tiny Talk May 13, 2008 By 7 Comments



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