Today

The New Year’s resolutions I failed to make are taunting me.

- Lose 30 lbs.

- Begin attending women’s Bible study again.

- Pray for my husband every day.

- Pray with my husband every day.

- Pray for and with my children every day.

- Really figure out how to teach our children to be more loving to each other.

- Have a better attitude.

- Get out of debt (starting by developing better spending habits).

I could go on…

I guess that’s why I don’t make “resolutions” at New Year’s. I can’t seem to focus on just one thing. Instead, I feel like I must change my whole life in one fell swoop.

And when I try to change my whole life like that, I inevitably fail.

But if I could just take things “one day at a time…”

So today, I will do my best. Today, I will seek God and ask for His leading. Today, I will pray for my family. Today, I will ask Him to help me make wise choices when it comes to what I eat and what I spend. Today, I will ask Him to help keep my attitude in check.

Just for today.

And if I fail or fall, well, tomorrow is another today.

Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, “The LORD is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.” ~Lamentations 3:22-24




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Whirling

These days are awhirl with excitement and a tinge of chaos.

I have five more sleeps until Break Forth Canada begins for me (for the registrants, you’ll have to wait for seven sleeps). This means only four workdays to get stuff done. I’m quite certain that I have way more to do than I have time to do it in. Yet I know that Break Forth will go on whether I get every detail crossed off my list or not. So I’m running on a triage philosophy – dealing with the most urgent cases, anything non-life-threatening can wait, and if something is near certain death just gently letting it go.

I have nine more sleeps until we leave for Haiti. Actually, eight, as I’m not anticipating sleep on Saturday night. Our team is taking down a bunch of Rubbermaid tubs filled with supplies. We’ve been collecting supplies for months, only to receive a list of last-minute requests from on the ground in Haiti – it’s a large list! So we’re re-thinking our plans as we prepare to pack up those bins on Sunday. My heart breaks at the prospect of leaving some supplies behind, but I can’t stand the idea of bringing items not urgently needed and not providing things that are.

My truck went into the shop yesterday, and had to stay for a sleep-over. It’s never good when the check engine light comes on. I’m pretty sure that this is a distraction tactic by the enemy. The reason I’m sure – because this problem instantly caused a tight ball of stress in my belly, it has us worrying about finances, and it’s making us feel short with each other.

So in these whirling, twirling, dizzying days, I do the only thing I know will help. I cry out to God. I ask Him to give me peace in the midst of chaos, to keep my mind clear and focussed on the tasks He needs me to accomplish, and to protect me from the enemy’s tricks and tactics. I remind Him that this was His plan to begin with – both Haiti and Break Forth, and that I fully expect Him to provide for all of our needs (even the unexpected financial one). And at any given moment, when the stress of it all threatens to overcome me, I remind myself that the Creator of Heaven and Earth is the one who’s really in control here, so I don’t need to worry.

I can’t remember a time in my life when there have been so many important things going on at once. I also can’t recall a time in my life where I’ve felt such a deep, settled, inner peace. It doesn’t make sense that I should feel peaceful right now. But that’s why I know it’s from my Abba. And I’m sure, due to the prayers of our friends and family.

Thank you for thinking of us when you go before Him these next few weeks. Each prayer is treasured by our Father and by us.

Please keep up with our team while we’re on the ground – we’ll share our highs and lows, our prayer needs, and some photos of what we’re working on. CrossRoads to Haiti, 2012

“Again, I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything you ask for, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven. For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them.” ~ Matthew 18:19-20




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Live Loved, Be Blessed

I pray that, today, you will experience the blessing of walking in God’s presence. I pray that your moments, your decisions, your actions and reactions, and your interruptions are all marked with His fingerprints. May you know, today, the richness of the Holy Spirit living within you.

I pray that, today, you will find your identity in Christ. I pray that you will be assured of His unconditional love for you, that you will take joy in His handiwork as it is expressed in your shape and size and features, and that you will walk confidently using the gifts He has given you.

Today, I pray for you the same things I ask for myself. Peace, assurance, joy, confidence, and an outpouring of love. May your working moments, your waiting moments, your resting moments, and your rushing moments be in step with Him.

You are precious to Him, and He has a beautiful master plan for you. Not just for your entire life, but for your everyday. Enjoy the adventure of walking in His plan, and may your joy spill over into the lives of each person you encounter.

Live loved, be blessed. You are His.

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Meet Team Haiti, 2012

(click on photo to enlarge)

Back: Russ, Beth, Curt, Alex, Pat, Gerald, Melissa, Jim
Front: Siham, Alan, Tyler (aka me), Blanche, Lydia, Dolores

We’ve been having a fun time getting to know each other and preparing ourselves spiritually and mentally for the trip. What a great group of people!

If you want to follow us, we’ll be blogging over at CrossRoads to Haiti, 2012. Right now, posting will be pretty sparse – the odd update of prayer requests and how we’re doing. But when we’re away (Jan. 29-Feb. 9), you can expect some fairly regular updates on the blog. I would love it if you bookmarked or followed the blog now, so you don’t miss a thing. :)

Thanks for journeying with me. Your prayers and encouragement are such a blessing.

P.S. The countdown is on – 82 days!

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Ask, Believe, Receive…

Do you ever not share a prayer request, feeling convinced that it’s not important enough or serious enough? Is there anything more embarrassing than asking for prayer for something that seems insignificant, especially if it’s followed up by a real prayer request?

Do you ever share a prayer request, only to feel completely let down after the fact because no one actually prays for you right then and there? Is there anything more disappointing than hearing the empty words, “I’ll be praying for you,” when all you really want is to be prayed with and over at that moment?

Yesterday, I decided to throw caution to the wind and ask for prayer for something relatively unimportant (in the grand scheme of all that’s going on in the world). Yesterday, I was blessed to be prayed with and over, right then and there. At work, no less.

I shared that I have been fighting off a nasty virus for an entire month. Everybody at work knew I was sick, but I don’t think anyone realized how long it had been holding on until I named it. (And before anyone gets all concerned like my mother, let me assure you that I’ve spoken to a doctor who is just as convinced as I am that this is a virus. Meaning, the only treatment is rest and time.)

Anyway… I’ve been fully functional, just not at the top of my game. For thirty-one days I have been plagued with a stuffy head, uncontrollable fits of sneezing, and a headache. For the past week, the stuffed-up sinuses have begun to ease, being replaced with a dry, hacking cough. And I’m just plain tired.

I want to feel better, to be at the top of my game, to have full energy and a cheery attitude. So I figured maybe it was worth pulling out the big guns – the prayer request. I hoped for nothing more than a brief mention as we did our daily devotions. And maybe someone would remember me in prayer later on during the week.

Instead, I received a blessing. My boss pulled from his pocket a container of Anointing Balm (it’s like Anointing Oil, but less chance of messy leakage), he anointed my head, placed his hand on my shoulder, and led the staff in praying healing over me. And I felt Jesus whisper, “I care about even the things that you find insignificant. I care when you’re unwell; every sniffle matters to Me. I’ve been waiting for you to come to Me for healing.”

You can call it coincidence, self-fulfilling prophecy, the placebo effect, or a plain old lie. But I’ll have you know that I barely coughed all afternoon and evening. I did not pop one tablet of Advil Cold & Sinus. I did not suck/crunch one Halls throat lozenge. And though I still feel incredibly weary, I have discovered that my constant companion – I like to call her sinus headache – has left me.

Sometimes, the only thing standing in the way of getting what we need is asking for it…and believing that He will provide it.

For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened. ~ Matthew 7:8 & Luke 11:10

If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer. ~ Matthew 21:22

Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours. ~ Mark 11:24

Until now you have not asked for anything in my name. Ask and you will receive, and your joy will be complete. ~ John 16:24

What do you need from Him today, that you’ve been afraid to ask for? May I pray for you? (As in, right here, right now.)

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* Health status update: This morning, I am coughing a bit. More like a “tickle in the throat” kinda cough than hacking. And it didn’t begin until around 2am, when my body hit full-out exhaustion mode. Tomorrow, I’ll fill you in on the adventuresome details of why I was still up at 2am.




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Quick update

I was reflecting on peace this AM, and how I am truly experiencing it while Pat’s away. I was soaking up some Scriptures about how peace is something we pursue, contemplating how to turn my thoughts into a blog post.

Next thing I know…

- one child is tossing a hissy fit about boots (new boots chosen by said child last night) – apparently they’re too puffy; said child left for school in runners, with a scowl on, and with stinky breath from unbrushed teeth
- one child spazzed on the way out the door because the snow pants were not easy enough to find – this is apparently my fault
- one child slept in and needed to be pushed every single step of the way this morning, and then some
- my comments on the blog are not being emailed to me, which appears to be a problem with my email server – instead of posting I was attempting to fix the problem
- my laundry shelf fell from it’s perch and dropped all of its contents on the floor and into a hamper full of clean laundry (contents included powdered laundry detergent, 400 or so batteries, assorted screwdrivers, a picture hanging kit with approximately 2600 small pieces, and a basket full of new light bulbs)

As for blog posts, I suspect that this may be all you’ll get today. Apparently I was feeling a bit too confident in my ability to seek God’s peace and the enemy is setting out to knock me down a few notches. There were a couple battles this morning that I already allowed him to win, but I intend to have the victory of the war before the kids are home from school today! In Jesus’ name.

Your prayers would not be wasted on me today.




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If I Only had a Brain

Sometimes our job is to plow the fields, getting them ready for planting…
We may be the very first Christians some people meet that they don’t hate.

Sometimes our job is to sow the seeds…
We live our lives for Christ, allowing those around us to witness the difference He makes in and for us.

Sometimes we are the rain, the sunshine, or the fertilizer…
We have opportunities to pour out love, shine the light of God’s Word, and bring the Truth alive by sharing how God is working in our lives.

Sometimes we get to bring in the harvest…
We may even get to lead someone to accepting Christ as Lord and Savior.

Sometimes we are the scarecrow, keeping pests away.
We do our best to drive away the enemy when he tries to distract them and help them stay focussed on their growth.

I spend most of my time being a scarecrow. (Feel free to envision my face on the body of Scarecrow in Wizard of Oz, singing the famous – and fitting – song, “If I Only had a Brain.”) For some reason, when people are afraid, stressed, confused, and losing their faith, they come to me. My job is to wave my arms around and holler until the crows fly away. Wait, I mean my job is to love them, encourage them, bring them back to Christ and His Truths through prayer and Scripture.

Being a scarecrow isn’t the most glorious job. The harvesters really have the job that offers the highest dividends. The scarecrow job description is kinda like the spiritual janitor – helping sweep away all the junk and clutter so that the Truth shines through. The thing is, clean-up is a never ending job. Just as soon as you think you’ve got it all gleaming, someone walks through your hard work with their muddy boots. Or, back to the scarecrow analogy – as the crow flies away it poops on your head. It can sometimes be a rather inglorious occupation.

Every now and then, though, the scarecrow gets a blessed reminder about the importance of his job.

Last week, a 12-year-old boy from my old home church was killed in a freak accident. These are the things that can make or break the faith of everyone involed.

So far, two women have contacted me to help them process this situation. One was on her way to be with the family, another a friend with an “overprotective” nature when it comes to her children. They didn’t come to me for wisdom or advice; I’m pretty sure they don’t think I’m all that sage. They came to me because they needed someone to help them cry out to Jesus and scare away all the fears and worries that were threatening to overtake their minds.

So I grabbed my Bible, took to my knees, flapped my straw-filled arms in the air to keep those nasty pests away, and together we found our Source of peace.

I may not get to bring in the harvest, leading people to a new faith in Christ. I may not get to spend a lot of time with people who don’t know Him, preparing the ground, sowing seeds, fertilizing. My job is to tend the fields where the “hard work” has already been done. But I am reminded that each step – each person – in the cultivation process makes a difference in the final crop. Even brainless, straw-stuffed, human-like figurines with sticks up their butts…

* Please, take a moment to pray for the family who is experiencing the greatest sorrow imaginable. Please pray for Mom, Dad, brother, and sister.




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5QF

My friend Mama Bird has been answering questions on Fridays for a few weeks, and this week I could not resist joining in on Five Question Friday.

1. Do you know how to play a musical instrument?

Long ago, in a life far, far away, I briefly played piano, clarinet, and flute. I still do a stellar version of “Heart and Soul” on the piano. I’ve regretting giving up on piano for many years, but my pre-teen self was not too keen on the strict practice regimen.

2. What is your pet peeve while driving?

Texting while driving is my most recent pet peeve. But for years I have been driven crazy by the fools who brake for green lights as if they are yield signs!

3. Would you rather have a housekeeper or unlimited spa services?

Housekeeper. Absolutely. I had a housekeeper briefly when we moved, and the saddest thing in the world was when I had to take over my own housework. Even now, it brings a tear to my eye.

4. Is there a song that you hear that will take you back to the moment, like a junior high or high school dance?

Grade 7, Jennifer D. and I, anytime we were together (but especially walking around the school yard at recess.

5. What song best represents your life right now?

As I journey with my friend Deb (aka invisigirl); as I wait and hope and pray for provision for She Speaks; as I pray for so many friends and family bearing burdens (financial, cancer, teen pregnancy, unsaved loved ones), this song is the one that dominates my thoughts and prayers.

And if our God is for us,
Then what can ever stop us?
And if our God is with us,
Then what can stand against us?

Our God is greater,
Our God is stronger,
God you are higher than any other!
Our God is healer,
Awesome and Power!
Our God! Our God!




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The Writing, It’s In My Blood!

About a year ago, I was telling someone about the book I’ve been (ever so slowly) working on. She said to me, “So, you want to be a writer, eh?” I smiled and said, “I hope so.” But inside my heart was pounding in my ears and I knew something I had never acknowledged before: I already am a writer, I always have been. The only difference was that I had begun pursuing becoming a published writer.

From the moment I was able to identify words on a page, I was obsessed with reading. I would devour book after book and in-between books I would weave together stories in my head. I fancied myself an aspiring novelist – probably a romance novelist. For a sixth grade writing project I submitted a 10-page short story complete with switching back-and-forth between simultaneous scenes (at least I learned something from all the after school soap opera watching). I journalled, I made up songs, I played with poetry. Toying with words was an addiction.

Somewhere along the road of life I learned that writers don’t really make any money. Kinda like artists. And in my pursuit of an actual career where a predictable income was earned I went to university for my psychology degree. I did school and work and motherhood, eventually “settling” on motherhood for a season. I re-discovered God, began living my life with Him in mind, and found myself called to ministry. All the while, this writing gene lay dormant.

A few years back, a trendy and innovative friend (thanks Louise!) introduced me to a crazy thing called “blogging.” My inner rebel (the one who refuses to join into anything that’s “in”) wanted to resist, but I was helpless against the siren song of the written word.

My old blog started out as a G (maybe PG) rated version of an online journal, but it wasn’t long before I knew I wanted to write words that had purpose. Because if – ohmygoodness – there were actually people reading my words, it mattered to me that my words would somehow point them to Jesus.

I don’t know if this book in my heart will ever make it onto a publisher’s desk. I don’t know if I will ever be able to build a platform large enough to satisfy the publishing world’s requirements. I don’t even know if, when it’s all down on paper, the words will make any sense whatsoever. But I do know this – writers write. It’s what we do. Not necessarily because we have a project to finish or a deadline to meet. We write because it’s part of us.

My hope and prayer is that the message God has placed in my heart will get out there, that it will help others, change lives, and draw women closer to God. So I will pursue that dream. (But even if it doesn’t come to pass, I will keep on writing.)

As one small part of the work toward the goal of getting published, I have registered for She Speaks – a conference that offers equipping for writers, speakers, and women’s ministry leaders – for the second year in a row, this time with the focus of learning how to build my platform (though I have still requested publisher meetings because, well, you never know!). While I know there are bigger things going on in the world, I would like to humbly ask for your prayers. I registered for this conference, feeling the nudge by God to do so, but knowing that we did not have the means to cover all the costs involved. Right now I sit in a place of waiting on the Lord, believing that if I really should be there He will provide. So I ask that you pray for me to be patient, to have peace, and to trust. Because I tell ya, waiting is hard!

By the way, if any publishing people out there are reading this post, I would like to assure you that my sentence structure is much more correct in book format. :)




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In the Trenches Together

Do you have a friend that you would move heaven and earth for if she needed it?

I have a couple people I love so deeply that when they hurt, I hurt.

Last week I spent every waking hour with one of those special women. My home was the ICU waiting room, her friends and family became mine. I fought a few battles on her behalf and dried a few tears. I cracked inappropriate jokes to make her laugh and said curse words to share in her anger and frustration. We spent a week in the trenches together, and it was sad and beautiful all in one breath.

Lots of people are telling me that I’m so great, so sacrificial, such a good friend. But the truth is, I’m not any of those things.

I am not great, I am weak. I offered my weak efforts of encouragement, prayer, grief, and laughter. But so many others came into that place strong – warriors ready to stand and fight, intercede, and more. I was just sitting beside my girlfriend.

I am not sacrificial, I am selfish. I wanted to feel like I was doing something – needed to feel it – so I went. I certainly missed my family this week, but the greater sacrifice was offered by all those who cared for them while I was away. My husband and his dad held down the fort here with 3 school-aged kids and a dog. A kind friend served them dinner one evening. My mom and dad took care of the two little kids, as did two blessed friends during the daytime hours. My father-in-law stood in the school gym watching one child receive an award at school. My parents held down a wailing child as a doctor wove two stitches of thread through a head-gash. While I spend hours in the company of a dear friend, they did all the hard stuff.

I am not a good friend, I am a pathetic friend. So pathetic that I needed to be by her side just as much as she may have needed me there (maybe more). I took my comfort in being there, hands-on, “in the loop.” In fact, there are these tiny twinges of feeling as though I’m missing out on something very special now that I am no longer having girlfriend sleepovers every night.

I can’t possibly be considered great, sacrificial, or a good friend when I gained so much more than I gave. I gained a deeper, truer, realer (I know, not a word) friendship. I gained a brother and a whole bunch of extended family. I gained perspective on what and who is important. I gained wisdom about planning for the future and protecting our family in the event of crisis. I had the joy of fellowshipping (another non-word) with my old church family. I saw and heard of hundreds of miracles. I got the warm, fuzzy feeling that comes from being appreciated and needed.

It was a blessing to me, this past week. I felt so loved, so needed, so special. I thank you, Deb, for the privilege of being your friend. I am honored that you trusted me to be there with you and advocate for you. Seeing so many people love you and your family made my heart grow. And seeing your husband look at you and your kids with love in his eyes (following several days of unconsciousness) was an exceptional moment in my life. Our God is so big that I cannot possibly fathom it, but by allowing me to share in your first week of a long, long journey you allowed me a glimpse of the Miracle Worker at work. I miss you!




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