As you know, I have a bit of a perfectionist personality. It’s all or nothing, the very best or not at all. But my methods did not serve me well when it came to housework. In order to achieve “all” in the cleanliness department, I had to spend an entire day cleaning the house from top to bottom. And if I didn’t have an entire day, I wouldn’t bother starting the job.
Over time, I discovered five secrets that have set me free from housework altogether!
1. It doesn’t have to be (and often can’t be) all done at once.
The goal here is not perfection. The goal is to have a gross-free house, to kill the germs and make it feel livable. So I made a chart, figuring out which jobs were best done on which day of the week. (For example, we’ve got small group on Thursday nights, which means the main bathroom ought to be done – can anyone say five children? Yuck!)
2. Many husbands are willing to help, if we just let them.
Pat actually doesn’t mind vacuuming. Which is great for me, because that’s one of my least favorite jobs! One day I finally just asked him if vacuuming could be his weekly job. He said yes. That was about or 6 months ago. In that time, I’ve held the vacuum in my hands only once. (The secret to getting his help around the house is this… shut up! Nothing makes a guy want to quit helping more than being told how to do something. His way may not be your way, but the important thing is getting the job done.)
3. Our children really do want to help. Really!
I’ve had lots of reasons for not getting my kids to help over the years. They do a poor job. They get underfoot. I’m faster. I do it better. I should do it, it’s my job because I’m a homemaker.
Anyone with kids under the age of 10 or so probably hears this question a lot, “Can I help?” They want to be with us, near us, like us. It was actually my brilliant husband who finally convinced me to leverage their desire to help.
4. A month’s worth of training is worth a lifetime of freedom.
The hardest part in getting the kids to help around the house was teaching them. I’m pretty particular about how the bathrooms get cleaned, and just sending a child off to clean the bathroom seldom resulted in success. So, for an entire month, every weekend, we had family housecleaning day. It toook alllllllll day.
Week 1 – Mommy cleaned while talking about what she was doing. Kid watched and tried a bit.
Week 2 – Mommy and child worked together, hand-over-hand to get the job done.
Week 3 – Child did the work while Mommy watched and talked about what he/she was doing. Mommy gave lots of cheerleading and a little bit of coaching.
Week 4 – Child did the work. Mommy came to inspect the job after, offering a little more coaching and still a lot of cheerleading.
Months 2 into forever – After the child has been properly trained, Mommy does occasional inspections. If the job isn’t done right, an experienced child will be sent to do it over again.
(Just a quick side-note. I know some people are thinking, “But my kids are just too young for this.” I thought it, too.
True, I don’t ask our 4 year old to do bathrooms yet. But he can empty the garbage cans, put away his own laundry, help me fold the laundry, dust with the hand-held duster – as high as he can reach, run the Swiffer vac on the wood floors, help set and clear the table, windex off the dishwasher and fridge doors, set out his own clothes for the next day, and clean up toys from the playroom.
Many of these jobs he could have helped with from the age of 2 or 2 1/2, had I let him. Before you write your kids off as too young, let them try! You might be surprised.
The hardest child to train has been our eldest. We gave him a free ride for 12 years or so, and motivating him out of the laziness he’s become accustomed to is quite the challenge! So be warned – don’t wait too long.)
5. Children like to teach.
In training our kids to do housework, I only needed to really teach each kid one job. I taught Abbey (9) to do bathrooms. Megan (8) learned to unload the dishwasher and put away dishes. Shea (6) was taught how to windex the glass and stainless surfaces in the house. Braeden (13) was taught how to clean up the dog poo in the back yard. And Malakai (4) learned how to empty all the bathroom garbage cans.
I let each child work at perfecting their job (about a month), then they get to switch (keeps them from getting bored). But, on the week when they switch it up, they must take the time to properly train their sibling to take over the job.
Since I’ve begun working, my kids have had a handy li’l chart on the fridge. There are daily jobs for each of them (pack your lunch for school, do your homework, choose your clothes for the next day, dishwasher, set table, etc.). There are jobs that happen a couple times each week (clean up dog poo, walk the dog, put away your laundry – I haven’t trained them on using the washer and dryer yet, but it’s coming!). And there are jobs that happen once a week (dust the whole house, clean each bathroom, Swiffer the wood floors).
I will confess that, about once a month, I will do a portion of the housework. I might spend an hour cleaning all the bathrooms to immaculate. Or after Pat vacuums I’ll give the floors a serious washing. But I don’t have to do the whole-day marathon. I don’t even have to do one job each day. The chart on the fridge tells me that my only duties are laundry and cooking, and everything else belongs to someone else.
Sweet, beautiful freedom! (You can be free, too!)
Do the other people in your household pitch in? Or do you (like me) need to kill your inner perfectionist?
