The Ugly Duckling

Once upon a time… There was a mother duck who hatched some eggs. Out of all the eggs came fluffy, beautiful little ducklings. Except for one. There was one egg that was larger than the rest, grey instead of white, and it took much longer to hatch. And when it finally did, instead of the duckling she expected, the mother duck was surprised to discover a chick with pokey, grey feathers. An ugly duckling.

We all know the classic tale by Hans Christian Anderson. The duckling’s childhood was a sad one, with all the other animals (including her siblings) pointing out how ugly she was. She didn’t fit in with her family. In fact, she didn’t seem to fit in anywhere. Until one day, she grew up to discover that she wasn’t a duck after all! She was a swan. The most majestic of birds, admired by people and animals alike.

She knew who she was, where she belonged, and she realized that she was truly beautiful.

Sometimes, we feel like ugly ducklings. I’m overweight. I can’t bake. I have no special talents. I don’t know what I want to be when I ‘grow up.’ I don’t fit. I’m not sure who I am. And I sure don’t feel beautiful.

Sound familiar?

The problem with these thoughts is, like in the story of the ugly duckling, they’re not true.

The duckling didn’t feel like she belonged because she was looking for her identity in the wrong place. She was trying to understand who she was in the context of the wrong family. Had she discovered the swan family right from the beginning, she would have been assured of her inherent beauty from the moment she hatched.

When we feel like we don’t belong, we’re allowing the wrong family to define who we are. We may look to the family of stay-at-home mothers and see how we don’t quite measure up (especially in the housework department). Perhaps we hang out in the family of fitness buffs and find ourselves falling short of the standard of health and wellness (as we sneak Twinkies after midnight). Some days we try to identify with the super-spiritual, service-oriented, perfect-appearing church volunteer… Next to all these families, we kinda look like an ugly duckling.

But if we could only go to our true family from our infancy! If, instead of looking at various people and people groups for our identity, we sought to understand who we are in God’s family, how different things could be. No matter how diverse we are from our siblings, no matter how different we are from the rest of the world, our Abba would tell us how beautiful we are every day.

And if we chose to listen to His words of affirmation, rather than the opinions of the outside world… We would be transformed! Women who are confident and peaceful shine beauty from within. Whether they are big or small, quiet or loud, funny or serious; whether they stay home to care for their family or work outside the home; whether they do Scripture memorization or talk to God like a casual chum… They appear beautiful because they feel beautiful. And they feel beautiful because they find their identity in the right family.

Ask God if He thinks you’re beautiful, and listen to what He says.

The King is enthralled by your beauty. ~Psalm 45:11

The unfading beauty of a quiet and gentle spirit…is of great worth in God’s sight. ~1 Peter 3:4

He has made everything beautiful in its time. ~Ecclesiates 3:11

How beautiful you are, my darling! Oh, how beautiful! ~Song of Solomon 4:1

The LORD your God is with you, He is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, He will quiet you with his love, He will rejoice over you with singing. ~Zephaniah 3:17

You are precious and honored in My sight, and…I love you. ~Isaiah 34:4

* Adapted from a message I shared in Haiti to the women’s group.

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