Real Woman. Real Life. Extraordinary God.
Port-au-Princewas nothing less than a total assault. Every sense was overwhelmed.
Heat and humidity, thick and fresh, greeted us when we first disembarked the plane. Fourteen of us entered the chaos of the customs building (shack is really a more accurate description) filled with excitement. We were greeted by Officer Prince, who came from Haiti Arise to serve as security for our team.
Continue reading on the team blog…
That’s how many more sleeps until we board a plane for Haiti.
The past two days, I’ve woken with knots in my tummy. (Could be Haiti, could be Break Forth…who knows?!)
It’s really real. Wow!
While we’re in Haiti, I’ll try to pop the odd post up here that’s woman-related. But please do follow our blog CrossRoads to Haiti, 2012. We’ll be sharing post and pictures about our time in Haiti, our struggles and celebrations.
Want to come along?
Last weekend, our Haiti team members took turns sharing our greatest fears about the trip.
I could have listed so many things… Giant spiders, scabies, getting sick or hurt, Pat getting sick or hurt, wearing skirts all the time, taking the giant (and disgusting) malaria pills… These things all pop into my mind occasionally. But I’m able to push them back and replace them with the assurance that God called me to go, and He already knew all these concerns.
The words that poured from my mouth were a surprise to me, as were the tears that accompanied them. I said…
I’m afraid of the children.
I don’t know how I will be able to see their pain and suffering and then leave them behind.
But even more terrifying than the prospect of walking away is the idea that maybe God will tell me that one (or more) of those children is not to be walked away from…
That scares the crap out of me!
These days are awhirl with excitement and a tinge of chaos.
I have five more sleeps until Break Forth Canada begins for me (for the registrants, you’ll have to wait for seven sleeps). This means only four workdays to get stuff done. I’m quite certain that I have way more to do than I have time to do it in. Yet I know that Break Forth will go on whether I get every detail crossed off my list or not. So I’m running on a triage philosophy – dealing with the most urgent cases, anything non-life-threatening can wait, and if something is near certain death just gently letting it go.
I have nine more sleeps until we leave for Haiti. Actually, eight, as I’m not anticipating sleep on Saturday night. Our team is taking down a bunch of Rubbermaid tubs filled with supplies. We’ve been collecting supplies for months, only to receive a list of last-minute requests from on the ground in Haiti – it’s a large list! So we’re re-thinking our plans as we prepare to pack up those bins on Sunday. My heart breaks at the prospect of leaving some supplies behind, but I can’t stand the idea of bringing items not urgently needed and not providing things that are.
My truck went into the shop yesterday, and had to stay for a sleep-over. It’s never good when the check engine light comes on. I’m pretty sure that this is a distraction tactic by the enemy. The reason I’m sure – because this problem instantly caused a tight ball of stress in my belly, it has us worrying about finances, and it’s making us feel short with each other.
So in these whirling, twirling, dizzying days, I do the only thing I know will help. I cry out to God. I ask Him to give me peace in the midst of chaos, to keep my mind clear and focussed on the tasks He needs me to accomplish, and to protect me from the enemy’s tricks and tactics. I remind Him that this was His plan to begin with – both Haiti and Break Forth, and that I fully expect Him to provide for all of our needs (even the unexpected financial one). And at any given moment, when the stress of it all threatens to overcome me, I remind myself that the Creator of Heaven and Earth is the one who’s really in control here, so I don’t need to worry.
I can’t remember a time in my life when there have been so many important things going on at once. I also can’t recall a time in my life where I’ve felt such a deep, settled, inner peace. It doesn’t make sense that I should feel peaceful right now. But that’s why I know it’s from my Abba. And I’m sure, due to the prayers of our friends and family.
Thank you for thinking of us when you go before Him these next few weeks. Each prayer is treasured by our Father and by us.
Please keep up with our team while we’re on the ground – we’ll share our highs and lows, our prayer needs, and some photos of what we’re working on. CrossRoads to Haiti, 2012
“Again, I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything you ask for, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven. For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them.” ~ Matthew 18:19-20
There have been times in my life where I sense God’s presence at every moment, and other times where He seems far away. The thing is, I know that God hasn’t gone anywhere. (I know this because He made me a promise, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” Joshua 1:5b) So if He feels far away that is more a reflection of my heart and attitude than of His proximity.
There are three times in my life where God has felt close.
1. When I’m going through hell.
As much as I hate going through difficulties, there is beauty in times of struggle. During these times, I am forced to rely on God more. So He seems closer. He isn’t; in reality it’s me who’s moved closer.
During a difficult financial time in our lives, I talked to God all day, every day, about everything. I prayed as I grocery shopped, asking God about each item before I placed it in the cart. I remember being in the diary aisle, trying to decide which luxury (if any) to place in the cart – yogurt or block cheese. I was pretty sure the yogurt made more sense, because it would last longer and cost less. But I felt like God was telling me to get the cheese.
Being one of His children who has trouble with immediate obedience, I asked Him, “Why?” I felt the words, “Bless your husband,” echo through my soul. (Pat loves block cheese.) It was strange, but I obeyed. I checked out with my bill coming to something like $0.67 less than I was carrying in cash.
At this same time, we had friends who were living by faith and hand-to-mouth. They were about to leave to be missionaries, and had sold their home. The whole family was living in a dingy hotel. Another family in our church invited them to move in temporarily, until it was time for them to move away. And they had a large Rubbermaid tub full of food that they were told they did not need to bring along. God put us on their hearts, and they delivered the bin to us two days after my shopping trip.
Wouldn’t you know it, but that bin contained an 18-pack of individual yogurts!
2. When those I love are going through hell.
There’s nothing like seeing someone you dearly love suffering and struggling to bring you to your knees in prayer. Especially when you know their pain is so deep that they can’t do more than cry out the name of Jesus and collapse at the exertion.
Seeing others suffer also brings a tender, slightly guilty-feeling awareness of your own blessings. This mixture of sorrow, prayer, and thankfulness has brought me so very near to my Abba (my Daddy) many times.
3. When I seek Him with all my heart.
You will seek Me and find Me when you seek Me with all your heart. ~Jeremiah 29:13
Imagine you dropped your wedding ring in your living room. You know it’s there somewhere, but you can’t see it. How diligently, carefully, thoroughly, and time-consumingly would you search for that ring? I think that’s what “all your heart” means.
All your heart means:
- You really, truly want what you’re looking for.
- You will not – or cannot – quit until you find it.
- You are willing to sacrifice other things to continue searching.
In my life, seeking Him with all my heart looks like… Waking up and inviting God to be a part of the details of my day. When something good happens, taking a moment to thank Him. When something interrupts my timetable, taking a moment to ask Him to guide me through it and to use that interruption for my good and His glory. Obeying the quiet prompts He places in my heart – whether it’s praying for someone, paying for the coffee of the next person in line, or writing a bigger cheque than I believe I can afford.
Seeking Him with all my heart is like a teenage crush. I wake up thinking about Him. I talk to Him, write notes to Him, think about Him all day. I look forward to any stolen moment I might get with Him. My affections for Him are undivided; nothing is more important. When I hear His voice my heart rate picks up, and I’m excited.
The true honest fact of the matter is that I haven’t figured it out. The first two ways of feeling close to God are out of my control. And the third way isn’t easy. It takes time, energy, commitment, dedication, and focus. Too often, I let my time be eaten up by silly pursuits. I frequently waste my energy on over-planning and worrying. My commitment to sleep can be stronger than my commitment to time in His Word. My heart’s dedication can get all upside-down and inside-out. I can be a little “ADD,” my focus straying to whatever needs my attention for a moment, then flitting to the next thing.
Seeking Him with all my heart is not as easy as it sounds. But it is worth it. The reward is feeling so close, so loved, completely intertwined with My Lord. (And you know what, it is so much nicer to experience that closeness without the heartache that comes with the first two ways!)
How do you seek Him with all your heart?
I always wondered about those people who drop their cell phones into the toilet. I mean, how do you do that?!
Let me tell you…
Place the phone in the back pocket of your jeans. Have a seat and do your business. Stand and pull up your jeans. Hear the plop-splash of the phone dropping into a bowl of pee.
I’m certain that most dropping-phone-in-bowl experiences are not into fresh bowls. After all, how many people flush before they stand? And it’s the standing that causes the dropping.
And did you know that, even if you don’t want to plunge your hand into the non-fresh toilet bowl, not doing it isn’t an option?! You’ve already probably destroyed the phone, but you don’t want to risk destroying the toilet as well.
Incidentally, when Pat was working as an apprentice plumber a few years back, he said that cell phones are the #1 cause of toilet clogs in bars and nightclubs. Apparently the concern about destroying the toilet in nonexistent if it’s a public toilet.
My cell phone is currently buried in a bowl of rice, hoping that the rice will absorb any lingering moisture. (It got extra wet because I couldn’t even consider the possibility of not washing it off!) I’d like to thank all the fools who came before me for sharing your phone-dropping experiences on Facebook. If not for you, I’d never have known about the rice trick.
Signed,
Foolish in Alberta
From our small group discussion last night…
1. Where is it harder to be a Christian? In North America, or in a country where you are persecuted (possibly even executed) for Christian faith?
2. What are the challenges you see at being a Christian in that place?
3. And what are some positives you see?
I was at work and my cell phone rang. I recognized the number and the name. Just then the phone on my desk began to sing its chorus.
I quickly picked up my cell phone and told my children that I’d call them back. I answered my desk phone before the cell was disconnected.
Curing the course of my 10-minute work conversation, my cell phone rang incessantly. They must have called back 3-4 more times! I felt a mixture of annoyance and dread.
When I called back the first question I asked was, “Is everything okay?” The second was, “Why would you feel the need to call over and over like that?! I told you I’d call right back.”
An excited voice informed that it was very important. “Mom! You know the big boxes in the garage?! The ones from the new washing machines?! Can we please, please, please use them?! I want to make a fort in my room! Pleeeeeaaaasssee?!”
How could I say no?
Funny how things that seem unimportant to one person mean the world to another… Priorities, eh?
Ah few short minutes later my phone jingled again. “Um, Mom… Are you going to come in the garage door?”
“Why????”
“Well, um, I think you should come in the front door instead. Yeah. Okay?”
“Okay, why?”
“You know that box? The bigger one? It, um, it’s kinda stuck.”
Ended my workday off with a good chuckle. Thanks, kids!
This past Sunday, we had the honor and privilege of being commissioned by our church family…
(Click on any of the photos to enlarge.)
(If you’re reading via email, you may need to click through to the post in order to watch the video.)
1. Laundry that I didn’t wash, dry, or fold.
2. Dinner that I didn’t cook.
3. Children who play together without bickering.
4. A husband who says nice things about me to others.
5. A small group who takes praying for my “busy-ness” just as seriously as they pray for those who’ve lost loved ones and whose families are at the breaking point.
6. A job where I get to do things I love and enjoy, serving God and others.
7. The perspective that comes after sleep.
8. Sad shows that I give me the emotional release that comes with tears.
9. Good books that capture the imagination of our whole family.
10. Fridays. (As a stay-at-home mom, Mondays were my favorite day of the week. As a working mom, complete 180.)
