What is Success?

I’m a results-oriented gal. In order to feel as though I’ve succeeded, something must be accomplished. Not started, not in process, but finished.

In the life of a mother, though, few things are ever truly finished to completion. Laundry piles up faster than it can be done. Crumbs, dust, and dog hair accumulate so quickly that only daily vacuuming would ever keep the floors properly cleaned. Cooking dinner is an activity that repeats itself day after day with no end in sight.

You can see how motherhood could cause a results-oriented girl to feel a bit like a failure. The only solution is to redefine success.

Success now means:

– A public outing where no one vomits, screams, runs away, or sustains an injury requiring emergency care.

– A laundry pile that is shorter than the tallest child.

– The fact that everyone has at least one pair of clean underwear in their dresser.

– Serving food other than take out at least five times per week.

– Small children are bathed frequently enough that they don’t appear to be dirty. (FYI, once a week will probably do.)

– Actual housework is done frequently enough that you can say, “Of course I vacuum!” (FYI, monthly suffices.)

– There are some groceries in the house. Somewhere.

– The noise and insanity is caused by children having fun as opposed to attempting to dismember one another.

– Nothing holding a value greater than $100 is broken in any one day.

– At the end of the day, when all is quiet with children snugly in their beds, you can kick back, smile, and quote the reality TV intro, “It’s a crazy life, but it’s our life.”

Ah, sweet success!




  1. 1

    I saw this on facebook this morning and thought it was funny. I hope you enjoy it.

    I’m passing this on because it worked for me today. A doctor on TV said that to have inner peace, we should always finish things we start. We would then experience more calm in our lives. I looked around my house to find things I’d started & hadn’t finished, so I finished off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of Chardonnay, a bodle of Baileys, a butle of wum, tha mainder of Valiuminum scriptins, an a box a chocletz. Yu haf no idr how fablus I feel rite now. Sned this to all who need inner piss. An telum u luvum.

  2. 2

    This is something that I definatly needed to read today! I struggle with this daily, if I don’t see results a clean house laundry done I get frustrated and discouraged. Loved the part about small children and weekly bath!

  3. 3

    Too funny. I loved it!

  4. 4

    Yep. That’s success all right. 😉

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