Understanding Jesus

I’ve been reading through Matthew these days, and I’m surprised to find that it’s taking a while. It seems that everywhere I go there are words that are more to me than they were before. I have this desire to dig deeper into these words and understand more clearly what they mean – what Jesus means when He speaks them. Hopefully you can bear with my fumbling learning curve as I work through some parts of the sermon on the mount, starting with the beatitudes (Matthew 5:3-12)…

Blessed are the…

I think it’s important to first figure out what Jesus means by the term ‘blessed.’ In my everyday life, I often equate blessings and things. For example, “What a beautiful home you have,” “Thank-you, we’re very blessed.” Or, “God has blessed me with these children/this marriage/these friends.” To be honest, I really don’t think that’s what Jesus is getting at here. I really can’t imagine Him sitting on this big hill, chatting with his disciples while a crowd of people listens in, telling them “Now, if you are poor in spirit, meek, merciful, etc., I assure you that you will have a life full of great things that you can give Me credit for.”

I think the key to ‘blessed are those’ is found at the end of each verse: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven… for they will be comforted… for they will inherit the earth… for they will be filled… for they will be shown mercy… for they will see God… for they will be called [daughters] of God… for theirs is the kingdom of heaven… and finally – because great is your reward in heaven. Jesus isn’t telling me how to get everything I want or need here, but He is telling me how to get the ONLY thing I really need! He cares so much that I receive this ‘blessing’ that He provides me with a thorough list of the character attributes He wants me to develop, in order to receive His great heavenly rewards.

…poor in spirit

Okay, I must confess that I initially read over this the same way I would skim a phrase in a novel that I didn’t completely understand. Like understanding that one phrase probably won’t affect the overall impact of the story. In fact, I flew all the way through Matthew’s fifth chapter, and it was only once I reached the end that I realized I didn’t truly grasp any of what Jesus was talking about! We all know what it means to be poor, right? To do without, to have not. Or in terms of a poor performance – weak, lacking, unsatisfactory, inferior. So is Jesus really saying we will be blessed if our spirit (or spirtual lives) are weak? I couldn’t wrap my head around this, because I know that Christ has called me to grow strong in Him, so I pulled out my handy google search engine. After reviewing about 5 different takes on it, my heart settled on this: we are poor in spirit, imperfect and lacking. To accept this fact and acknowledge that, on our own, we are spiritual nothings, destitute – we can do nothing apart from Christ – this is what it means to be poor in spirit. Ah-hah

Isaiah 66:2b This is the one I esteem: [she] who is humble and contrite in spirit, and trembles at my word.

Oh, to be esteemed by God Himself! Our pastor often speaks of having a contrite heart and spirit, of putting ourselves in our rightful place (way below God). This heart attitude, a BE-attitude, will reap unimaginable rewards in heaven. Oh Father, that I would be poor in spirit and beautiful in Your eyes…

Filed Under: beatitudes, my walk, writing February 29, 2008 By 2 Comments



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Resisting Temptation

This past week has been tough! I am using Weight Watchers to help me watch my eating, because I find if I’m without ‘rules’ to follow I give in to temptation far too easily. I’m only allowed 22 points per day, which I’m guessing is close to 1200 calories. Two weeks ago, when I was full-time breastfeeding, I was able to eat 30 points per day. BIG change in eating habits! But I made it!!!

I was fairly lazy this week…just couldn’t seem to get motivated to exercise. But last night Pat did pilates and an aerobics video with me (if you saw the ‘girlie’ moves they were doing, you’d be so impressed). Sweet, sweet man, willing to set aside his weight bench to help motivate me.

This morning, God gave me some great encouragement to resist temptation – the temptation to overeat or make poor choices, the temptation to be lazy and unmotivated, the temptation to give up. Matthew 4:4 says Jesus answered, “It is written: ‘Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.’” When I read those words it struck me, I don’t NEED potato chips or an extra serving of dinner. I don’t NEED to rest and relax. The One and Only thing I need is the Word of God! I do believe that God intends for me to be healthy and well, free from back pain and free from vices. He can help me do this! How terrible that I only now realize how much God really has to do with my weight loss, how much He really cares.

Here are my ‘tales from the scales’ for this week…
weight: 158.4 lbs (lost 1.4)
body fat: 30% (lost 1)
Not the amazing results I was hoping for, but in keeping with how hard (or not) I worked. And a loss is a loss, right?

Filed Under: my walk, real life, weight loss, writing February 27, 2008 By 7 Comments



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Tiny Talk Tuesday

A bunch of women (including myself) were busy making packages for the craft at our upcoming women’s retreat. Megan (4) enters the rooms and wonders what we’re doing. I tell her that we’re putting together a craft for the ladies to do on the retreat. Incredulous, she exclaims, “But adults don’t do crafts!” (Note to self: make an effor to ‘appear’ slightly more interested in crafty things for the sake of the children.)

Shea (2) has 2 favorites lately. Instead of aruging by saying ‘no,’ she prefers “actually…” (pronounced ak-chu-leeee). Miss independent also likes to insist, “I do it my OWN self!”

This past weekend, Braeden (9) had the opportunity to attend Snow Camp – sponsored by our local radio station and Tim Horton’s (which, for you Americans out there, is kinda like Starbucks only better, lol). The poor boy was not pleased about boarding the bus; when they returned I learned that he cried for an hour :( . Saying prayers on Sunday night, Braeden wants to thank God for Snow Camp and all the fun and friends…Amen. As I’m closing his bedroom door I hear, “Mom?”
Me: “Yes, Braeden?”
B: “I go to Snow Camp again?”
Me: “Well, maybe someday, sweetheart” (sha, not likely kiddo!).
B: “I go on Friday?”
Me: “Um, no bud, let’s give it some time okay.”
LOL – kids!

To see what other people’s kids are saying, check out Mary’s page.

Filed Under: Braeden, carnivals, family, kids, Megan, real life, Shea, Tiny Talk February 26, 2008 By 6 Comments



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On Attitudes

I have been super grouchy lately. Not to the point where I’m nasty to be around (though you’d have to ask Pat to be sure), but just where I’m scowly and grumbly.

For example, our retreat committee met yesterday to do some assembly for the craft. Basically, we needed to put all the pices together in a Ziplock bag so when the women at the retreat want to do their craft everything they need is already together. Now, if you don’t know me you might not be aware of my ‘quirks.’ One of these quirks is my utter lack of craftiness. I am terrible at anything craft-related! Not only that, but I just don’t enjoy it. (Give me a bunch of walls to paint and I’m in my glory, but DO NOT ask me to create a lovely handicraft!) I digress… Anyway, we’re there to work and to fellowship, so you’d think I could deal. Nope. Hated it. So un-fun. The worst part is, though, that this ‘hated it’ attitude was written all over my face for 4 hours!

I know in my heart that, in spite of the unpleasantness of the task, I could have chosen to enjoy my time with 9 totally great women. I could have taken joy in the throng of children in and out of the room, rather than feeling irritable about how rambunctious they were. I could have done the work with a song in my heart and a smile on my face. But I didn’t. What’s even worse is that I am noticing this attitude issue cropping up all over the place.

Maybe I need more sleep (after all, waking up 4 times each night is probably not quite what my body needs). Maybe I need Christine (my BFF who is working full-time for a few months…we normally talk about everything several times a day, now we talk about nothing once a week). Normally, I’m a fairly optimistic gal; I like to encourage others to see the good in things. I don’t really know where all this crabbiness is coming from, but that’s not really important. I need to figure out how to change it!

So I was thinking, what would I do (if I were feeling inspired and creative) to help my children learn about having a good attitude? Ah-ha! The answers to all life’s questions can be found in one precious Book… Here’s one little tidbit of God’s advice to me on attitudes:

Colossians 3:23-24 Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.
I really like how the Message puts it…
Servants, do what you’re told by your earthly masters. And don’t just do the minimum that will get you by. Do your best. Work from the heart for your real Master, for God, confident that you’ll get paid in full when you come into your inheritance. Keep in mind always that the ultimate Master you’re serving is Christ. The sullen servant who does shoddy work will be held responsible. Being a follower of Jesus doesn’t cover up bad work. [or a bad attitude]

Here’s where you, my reader-friends come in. I need help! I seem to be having some difficulty finding more Scripture about changing my attitude. So I need you to please comment and leave me some more verses!

Filed Under: ministry, my walk, real life, writing February 24, 2008 By 4 Comments



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Complacency

Do you ever start to feel complacent, apathetic even, in your faith? I know there are times when I do…

When life is rolling along smoothly – no major issues with any of the kids, marriage is feeling solid, ministry is growing – it’s almost as if God gets nudged back in my life. My time is filled with going to Church and Bible study, serving in ministry, reading good books about God. But time spent, just God and I, slips away.

I tend to develop this mindset of, “God has me so busy at home and in ministry, and I really grow through the act of serving, so it’s all good.” I keep on plugging ahead, and I’m certain I really am learning, growing, and changing…but I’m missing something vital – connecting, knowing His heart for me. Though my Spirit is shouting at me that it needs more, my flesh tells me that this is enough. I get ‘settled’ and become complacent. Sound familiar?

Did you know that the Bible isn’t just a good book or a bunch of words that God wants us to read? Recently I learned that His Word is His love letter – to me! That’s kind of hard to grasp, I know. Take a moment to consider your first big crush… He’s theeee cutest boy in school, and he likes YOU! You go to your locker and discover an envelope stuffed inside, with a note in it! What do you do? You might eagerly tear it open right there, unwilling to wait even one minute before drinking in his adoring words. Maybe you tuck it away to read in the quiet stillness later, when you can really savour each precious phrase.

God has given us a love letter like that – how can we go to His Book with anything less than eager anticipation of how His words of love can fill our lives? Oh, I’m so sad to say that I often open my Bible with a sense of duty rather than excitement. I can just imagine the look on my husband’s face if he gave me a Valentine’s card and I opened it with the attitude, “well, I’ll read it because I have to, sigh.” His very Spirit would be crushed. And yet I do this to my LORD!

Father,
I pray that I will not have a complacent faith. Give me a passion and excitement to be with You, to bask in Your Presence, and especially to read the beautiful love letter You wrote just for me. Forgive me, Lord, for the way my attitude has hurt You. I love you so much, God! Please, change my heart so that my actions and time spent reflects how deeply I love you.
In Jesus Beautiful Name,
Amen

Filed Under: my walk, real life, writing February 22, 2008 By Leave a Comment



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A Day in the Life

I always wonder about what other women do… so I thought if I show you mine, maybe you’ll show me yours? (Agenda for the day, I mean.)

6am – Pat’s alarm sounds, he hits snooze
6:11 – ditto
6:22 – ditto
6:30 – my alarm sounds (much better radio station than his, lol); today I hit snooze (I would say that 3/6 days I do this, the other 3 I actually get up, Saturdays I don’t set an alarm)
6:33 – Pat’s alarm again, snooze again
6:38 – my alarm again (like really, with his alarm going every 11 min and mine every 8, why do we even bother?! – there’s no way this can be classified as more sleep); I’m irritated by the constant and clashing radio music, so I get up… brew a pot of coffee… sit down for my God time, today I decide to just spend time in prayer (sometimes I just work on a study book or read my Bible, and if I’m honest there are days I end up doing nothing – a variety of reasons for this, as you can imagine with 5 kids, lol)
6:44 – Pat’s alarm, snooze
6:55 – ditto
7:06 – Pat’s alarm, he gets up! (why the man doesn’t just set his alarm for 7am, I’ll never know?!)
7:10 – Kai starts hollering from his crib – needs a diaper change and a bottle – ready to conquer the world
7:15 – finally, I get to pour a cup of that coffee!
7:25 – Abbey & Meg appear upstairs, starving and already bickering; cereal is served (in case you’re wondering, if fast and easy equalled fine cuisine I’d be a gourmet chef!)
7:30ish-9ish – this is when time begins to blur all together in the flurry of breakfast, brushing teeth, packing backpacks, leaving for work, leaving for school, numerous requests for juice and wiping of bums, noses, etc…

9 – by now, the big kids are off to school (Abbey only goes to Kindergarten on T/ Th/ every 2nd Fri; Meg goes to playschool Wed/ Fri mornings; Braeden, of course, goes to school M-F), Malakai is typically ready to lay down for a nap, and whatever combination of children are still at home are busily engaged in singing/ dancing/ gymnastics routines in the middle of the living room
9-noon – depending on the day of the week, you’ll find me any number of places, not usually at home — really, I should be at the gym EVERY morning working out (haven’t been there once in over 2 weeks, boo!) — (Mon, lazy home day; Tues, was Meg’s gymnastics until she refused to participate 3 weeks in a row, now ?; Wed, Frienship Factor at our Church; Th, housework day; Fri, errands)
…today’s morning agenda includes: vacuum, dust, windex, sweep, swiffer, scrub tubs/sinks/toilets, clean the disgusting little rodent’s cage (thanks a lot, Santa), laundry, kitchen, help the kids sort toys back into their proper locations… (I should be honest here and tell you that I’m not really as organized as it sounds, lol, I am looking at my giant calendar as I type – there are an unfortunate number of days where appointments get missed, oops, if I forget to refer to the oh-so-vital calendar!)

noon – lunch time, which we all look forward to (the kids likely had a snack or two mixed in with all the morning schmazzle); lunch is typically mac & cheese, alphaghetti, grilled cheese, soup, or some such fancy fare for the kids; mom has salad, yougart, fruit, or when we’ve got a little extra $ a microwavable Weight Watchers meal
1pm – NAP TIME/QUIET TIME – NO EXCEPTIONS!!!; now, if I’ve been home, I’m sure I’ve checked email at least 4 times by now (it’s in my living room, so when I hear the ding, I go running!), but this is the time I typically veg and read blogs, check facebook, etc; I also try to sqeeze in some work time for women’s ministry, as there’s always something to be done (lots of time spent just chatting on the phone, which can be great but exhausting… email… website maintenance… event/retreat planning… etc.)
2:35 – Braeden’s bus delivers him to our doorstep. (I know, ridiculously early, isn’t it?!) Apparently shortening the day for the special needs class that he’s in makes it easier for the teachers – what about the parents, lol. Wonderfully, this is his time to play his play station or go down the street to his buddy’s house (who’s in the same class and also gets home ridiculously early).

3 – by now, all semblance of quiet time is thrown to the wind and loud is the new rule; I try to do supper prep, talk on the phone, keep the kids busy, and stay on top of the email (I am unable to bear the concept that an email would arrive and I would miss it somehow by not checking immediately, lol – Pat thinks I have a problem, I call it ‘organization’ and ‘staying on top of things’)
4 – run out to meet Abbey’s bus around the corner (thankfully, another mom walks Abbey and her friend to the bus in the morning), bringing an assortment of kids or not, depending who wants to come (if no one comes, I am pretty much okay with leaving them for the 5-10 minutes it takes, as long as I know they’re occupied with TV or a snack and as long as Kai is not on the floor – thankfully, he’s still typically sleeping)
4-6:30 – again, enter the crazy zone! (I once received a phone call as we were preparing to sit down for dinner, and the woman on the other end asked if I was having a party, hahahaha)… somewhere in here we eat and clean up, do homework (this is Dad’s job, phew), pack lunches for the next day, set out clothes for tomorrow (let me tell you how much headache this brainwave has saved me each morning!)
6:30 – bath time assembly line – sorry, no time to play when there’s 5 to get clean (and a new rule – no one baths together – thanks to too many flooding incidents, lol)
…also, this is the time that we will be leaving and having a sitter arrive if we’ve got grown-up evening stuff going on; usually a couple nights a week (Mon, either women’s Bible study for me, or right now ‘Love and Respect’ course for us; Wed, senior high youth for Pat; assorted women’s ministry meetings for me; date nights; VERY occasionally a fun night out with friends for either or both of us – let’s see, we went to Pat’s work Christmas party together on Dec. 15; oh, I went hot tubbing at my BFF Christine’s house about 2 weeks ago; wow, Pat really deserves a night out! Ohmygoodness, I can’t believe I forgot this – we got to go to Riverdance on Feb. 16!!! Yah, Pat really really deserves a night out.)…

8pm – bedtime, phew! Prayers and songs all around, followed by Mommy collapsing on the couch (well, for a few minutes until one little mess or another catches her attention).
10:30ish – Mommy’s bedtime (oh, yeah, Daddy’s too, lol).

When I write it all out like this it makes me feel a little breathless! But it’s actually not that bad. There are times where it is sooooo loud, times when the sqwabbling gets to be too much, but overall it’s just routine. Watching my friends with older kids…now they’ve got BUSY! Extra-curricular stuff, family stuff, major homework, oh boy!

So, what’s your day look like? How many times per day can you be found at the computer? Do you try to grab some ‘God time’ each day (and when, and how many days are you successful)? Do you feel busy? Too busy?

Filed Under: family, just because, kids, ministry, mommyisms, organizing, real life February 21, 2008 By 6 Comments



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Tiny Talk Tuesday

Driving along one day, Meg (4) asked why the snow on the road looks dirty. Thinking I should jump on this learning opportunity, I delve into an explanation of road gravel, traction, and so on… In spite of Meg’s less than enthusiastic participation, I quietly hope that she’s grasping the concept. Later, to test her comprehension, I ask if she remembers the big word we talked about earlier. With a slightly irritated look on her face, Meg demands, “Why are you trying to teach me?!” LOL! This, people, is why God has not called me to home school.

Abbey (6) to her dad, “Dad, William – not William in my class, but William on the bus, you know…the one who’s in grade 2, he’s 7-years-old -” (deep breath) “he said he has a crush on me.” Dad asks, “Do you know what that means?” “No” (giggling). Dad, “Well, what did you say to him?” Abbey, “I laughed.” How straightforward…

Braeden (9) to dad, “Dad – you took Mom for a date? Where’d you go?” Dad, “Sure did buddy. We went to see Riverdance.” “Aw Dad, that’s so cute! I’m proud of you!” Really, how does a 9-year-old know that watching people dance around for 2 hours is less than fantastic to most men?!

To see what other little ones are saying, check out Mary’s blog.

Filed Under: Abbey, Braeden, carnivals, family, kids, Megan, real life, Tiny Talk February 19, 2008 By 2 Comments



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Minimize-Your-Size Monday

I’ve linked up to a group of women who are working together to lose weight. Next week I’ll be posting on ‘Live Well Wednesday.’ (So much for my great title – thanks for the idea & feedback, Lucille.)

And so you know, Pat and I have renewed our focus. We have a goal! We’re going to Reno in June to spend some time with his brother and family, and we’d be far too embarassed to show up as fat slobs. So, 17 weeks to lose 20 pounds (for me)…I’ll keep Pat’s secret safe ;) .

In fact, I’d like to put a counter on my site – anyone have any good countdown widgets to suggest? I keep finding pregnancy ones, and I DEFINITELY do not want one of those, LOL!

Okay, down to the nitty gritty. Same as last week. At least I didn’t gain again. Phew. But it would really be nice to be a loser again, heehee.

Is there anyone else out there trying to lose weight that can be my support group?!

Filed Under: real life, weight loss February 18, 2008 By 9 Comments



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Suffering…

Have you ever wondered about pain and suffering in this world? You know, why do bad things happen to good people? Angela has posted some interesting thoughts on this, and is even doing a weekly series over at her ministry page. I strongly reccommend checking it out!
Blessings, friends!

Filed Under: writing February 17, 2008 By 1 Comment



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Riverdance Battle

THIS…is what we were doing last night! (I took only one tiny video clip – can you believe I even dared to break the rules!?) This youtube video gives the experience much better justice, though. Thankfully, our experience was sans the Japanese/Chinese subtitles.

What a totally awesome experience!!!!!

Filed Under: just because, real life February 17, 2008 By Leave a Comment



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